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What Do You Mean by “Soon”?
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Hi Reader, I’m glad you’re here! It Sounds Clear Enough.“When you get a chance…” “I'd love for you to…” “Maybe we should…” “Let's try to get this done soon.” Managers say things like this all the time. We think we're being flexible. Approachable. Maybe even a little less bossy. Meanwhile, the employee is trying to figure out what we actually mean. Is this a suggestion? A request? A priority? And what exactly does “soon” mean? Today? Friday? Before the end of the fiscal year? What we mean isn't always what people understand. And sometimes we're the reason why. Clear Doesn't Mean ControllingI get why managers soften their language. You don't want to micromanage. You don't want to sound demanding. You certainly do not want to be that boss. So instead, we say things like: "Can you get me those numbers soon?" In our head, “soon” means by noon tomorrow because I need them for the budget meeting. To the other person, “soon” might mean I'll get to it after these six other things. When we leave gaps, people fill them in using their own experience, judgment, priorities, and assumptions. That's not a character flaw. It's just what happens when someone doesn't have enough information. The problem isn't that they filled in the gaps. It's that we expected them to fill them in exactly the way we would. Then noon tomorrow rolls around and we're frustrated. They missed the expectation. Except we never actually gave them one. Giving people autonomy doesn't mean being vague. You can give someone plenty of room to decide how to do the work while still being clear about what you need. You cannot expect what you haven't explained. Before You Walk AwayMost expectations need four things:
That's it. No framework with seventeen boxes. No three-hour meeting. No laminated card required. Just make sure the other person knows what you mean before you walk away. Don't skip the follow-up.This is where managers sometimes get clarity right and still get frustrated later. We explain what we need, send someone on their way, and assume we'll hear something if there's a problem. Then three weeks later: "Whatever happened with that?" Not our finest management system. Follow-up doesn't mean hovering. It means deciding up front when you're coming back to the conversation. "Let's check in Wednesday." "Bring me your recommendation before you make the final decision." "Send me the draft Thursday and we'll review it Friday." Now everyone knows what happens next. Put it on your calendar before you leave the conversation. Because "I'll remember to check on that" has a pretty terrible track record. A Few Things to This WeekListen for your own vague language this week. Soon. Maybe. Try. Sometime. When you get a chance. I'd love for you to. We should probably. When you hear yourself say one, stop and ask: Do I actually mean this is optional? If not, say what you mean. Then pick one expectation you've already given and run it through four quick questions:
If any of those answers are missing, go fill them in. If you weren't clear the first time, don't make it weird. Just say: "I realized I wasn't very specific when we talked about this. Let me clarify what I'm looking for." That is a complete recovery. It takes thirty seconds and it works. The Bottom LineClear expectations don't require more management. Usually, they require a few better sentences. Say what you need. Explain why it matters. Make sure they know what good looks like. Decide when you'll reconnect. Then let them do their job. No guessing required. A Quick Note.If this resonated, it is the kind of work we do inside the New Manager Launch - practicing the everyday conversations that make leadership clearer, easier, and more consistent. If you want details or want to be added to the interest list, just reply to this email and I will send everything your way. Manager Minutes is a newsletter for leaders who want to get better at the human side of management, one issue at a time. |
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I’m a leadership trainer who shows first-time managers how to handle real challenges. Every other week, I send actionable advice you can put into practice immediately. Subscribe!
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